Do You Hear What I Hear?: A Musical Examination of the Song ‘Today’ by Troi Irons

There has to be a certain level of frustration as a modern singer songwriter when the masses misunderstand a song or find a different meaning in a song you wrote than the message that you originally intended. For Def Jam artist Troi Irons, "Today" might just be that song. But something amazing has happened with "Today". Something wholly unique that does happen in music, but not often. Different generations who listen to it are genuinely hearing a different song. To younger people who understand depression and sadness, it is an anthem of hope. A song about embracing your true feelings without letting them own or define you or break you. Yet baby boomers (and older) who hear it think it is a pro-suicide song.

The baby boomers (per usual) could not be more wrong. The sound of hope even crescendos in the song’s final moments, filling the listener with sonic resonance that feels like a warm arm around your shoulder, holding you up.

Doesn’t hurt that it is a perfectly constructed song and executed with ‘vulnerable bravado’ by Troi (I just coined that term and I do think Troi Irons worthy of it).

Let’s take a look at "Today", or rather, a deep listen or three.

Today I Feel Like Suicide….

I was achingly depressed the first time I hear this song. The great musical Gods brought Troi’s music to me via Spotify, and the opening line (and the whisper vocals she uses to not only tell you but EXPRESS those feelings) just grabbed me and never let go. I think that opening line is where the most people get hung up:

Today I feel like suicide.

Couple things I need to point out. At no point is she saying today I feel like committing suicide. 
She says Today I FEEL Like Suicide, as if she is death itself, embodied. I’m sorry but we all know those days. The days when we don’t wanna leave our beds and can’t fake a smile even if we try. "Today" is about that day, those feelings, but what is essential is listening to the rest of the song, and how, the further Troi sings, the louder and more powerful her vocals (and guitar) get until they are sonically combined into one beast and making you realize, like she says in the song itself, I just wanna find my paradise, too!

Who cannot relate to longing for that?

So don’t hear the first line of the song and the hollow echo of the guitar and let that throw you off here. 

This song is much deeper than you think, but not six feet deep, like most people keep assuming. There is beauty to be found in admitting you are sad and coming to terms with that. It takes the bravest of brave souls to do that even for themselves, for so Troi Irons to write something that left her so so naked and vulnerable in front of so many is bravery embodied. 

That, alone, gives strength when listening. If she can do, maybe we can, too!

Today’s Musical Composition

At first listen you will hear a similar sounding progression to the opening chords of The Funeral by Band of Horses (which, in turn, is also the same as The Prayer by Kid Cudi). An earworm three-chord progression with some really sweet lead played over the whole thing, keeping it from being a simple pop song and making it into a more layered and beautiful creature.

But there is major delight to be found in the crescendo of the song, marked by Troi sing-screaming “I just wanna find sweet paradiiIIIIIIIIIIIISSSEEEEE". The scream is perfect (some singers can do it, some can’t. Troi can) bringing up musical memories of women like Melissa Etheridge and Aritha Franklin, who could SING, if you know what I mean? Singing is a lost art with branding being everything now, and that is not who Troi Irons is. Though she is beautiful, her social media is void of selfies. She doesn’t try to push her (frankly, fucking beautiful badass punk biker meets Seattle rocker) vibe or herself as an image on anyone, and stands firmly behind the belief that music speaks for itself, which her does at very high volumes. You don’t have to look cool or be beautiful to make music. I think Troi just got lucky and somehow, still is incredibly humble, despite having an IT factor that lesser musicians would cut a digit off for.

But again, I must remind you, one must not get lost of focus solely on the (somewhat heart wrenching) lyrics:

Today I feel so paralyzed.
They say that I don't give my best,
I gave my all, got nothing left.
Today I feel like suicide,
No one here to second guess,
It's just me and my own breath.
It is raw, so raw you feel it. So raw you know EXACTLY what she is talking about, and you know  
that feeling and that place. It is easy to hear that and think “this is an ode to suicide” but it is, like I stated prior, anything but. To get those lyrics out of the context of the song is to NOT hear the song. I mean actually HEAR it. 
You see, the whole point of Today is….

The Hope is Found At The Musical Crescendo and Outro

Think of the song "Today" like three acts. In the first act, Troi Irons is in bed and she feels heavy in her soul, like someone tossed wet blanket over it. Even the fragility of the opening notes being finger-picked over delicately (she is a sick guitarist, too, this is not a woman playing behind a band) to drive that lethargy home. It is vacant and sad and takes you where you need to be at that moment. 

Second verse, sad but beginning to see hope, she is getting out of bed. By the end of the second verse, once she is out of proverbial bed, it is like she TRULY finally believes what she was saying about wanting to find paradise and she just belts out the vocal scream I mentioned before, and the song explodes like fireworks.

Suddenly, she is jamming out and what felt like sadness melts away. Her guitar suddenly is shooting off musical bottle rockets that make you forget you were just in bed, hopeless, one verse ago. A song that sounds hopeless and is about feeling hopeless kills its own hopelessness by the end, replacing it with genuine hope, musically.

If you can recognize and admit and own up to the sadness inside you, that is brave and huge, and if you do that, you get one step closer to shaking that very feeling. 

One other key thing about "Today" is…

Today is About Today (and Maybe Tomorrow, but NOT About Forever)

"Today" isn’t named “Always” or “Tomorrow” or “Forever” for a reason. The song is not called “Suicide” for a reason. The song is called “Today” because it captures that feeling she had, that one day, that we all get from time to time, and yet, here she is, 1000 todays later, still doing it and doing it even better now (new album about to launch September 23rd, titled Turbulence). So now any kid who hears the song, any little girl who may feel lost or hopeless, can hear what that sadness sounds like, epitomized, and then can also hear what breaking free from it sounds like in the same song, too. That is huge in itself.

Also, extra points for Troi’s skills on guitar. She handles it the way people like Chuck Berry and Jimi Hendrix used to, like it is a genuine extension of her and how she emotes, and between that, her skills as a songwriter, and how well executed this song is, I believe we have a musical deity on our hands here, folks, and more people need to know about her. So tell people about her….

Today, preferably, if you have time.

Keep your eyes on Troi Irons, she is making music music again. You know, with actual instruments and genuine emotion, both which are sorely lacking in music these days.

Do You Hear What I Hear (A Cry for Help)?: A Musical Dissection Of "The Hills" By The Weeknd

Infidelity may very well be the curse of our current generation. Staying true to someone can be very difficult when the world is seemingly filled with people who just want to f*ck. But what are the true repercussions of feeding those feelings? What kind of darkness can be born from darkness itself? These are just a few of the issues The Weeknd brings up in The Hills, perhaps one of the greatest R&B songs of the last decade, real talk. But let’s not pretend we don’t know what it is. Is is an anthem to infidelity. A memoir of a man cashing in on his alpha status to keep the females in question subjegated.

But there is a GREAT irony to be found hidden DEEP in this song that kind of changes the whole meaning of it, and there’s not a single soul I have met who knows what that is.

Please, allow me to dissect The Hills and reveal to you that these fuckers do, indeed, have eyes, and those eyes see all.

Maybe even more than the Weeknd implies.

Infidelity As A Way of Life

The Hills starts with “Your man on the road he doing promo, you said keep our business on the low-low.” So right away with the opening line we have not only established the song is being sung to a female The Weeknd is cheating with, BUT he is fucking someone famous’ girlfriend or wife. Only celebrities go on the road for promotion. So right away, he is not only playing with fire but he is playing with that blue flame, which everyone should know burns at an even higher temp.

You will also notice immediately that there is an element of shame in The Weeknds treatment of these verses (whereas in the chorus, he straight embraces his cheating ways by shouting it from the mountaintops). Outside of the chorus, he sort of “whisper sings” the verses that are dialogue in this song, whereas the chorus just sweeps you up in a tidal wave of falsetto magic.
Insecure during pregame, cocky during performance. I am sure the ladies don’t complain. 
But this song goes deeper than that (sex pun intended).

Infidelity As a Curse

In the second verse of the radio edit, though, you will find an interesting admission of guilt that, while being quite confident, is also a declaration of his own sickness. “I just fucked two bitches before I saw you, so you gon’ have to do it on my tempo.” 

So not only is he cheating with another man’s woman, he is cheating with her for the third time that day and he is TELLING her about the other he already cheated with, letting her know she means the least to him. Sorry, but the woman that gets it third is the woman who gets the bronze, it’s basic olympic deduction.

But this could also be seen as a subliminal cry for help. 

Think about it, having sex with three women in one day and in this song he admits that the one he is singing to he only talks to and sees after 5:30 at night, meaning dude’s full time job is fucking. Seriously. Between seduction time and actual boning time, there would be no time left in his day, unless dude gets up at 4:30 a.m to start his daily bang-a-thons, all dude does is fuck, which, if you have ever fucked that much, truly takes the fun out of fucking.

He may not be bragging, after all.

A Cry For Help From An Addict-Addict

The other interesting side fact about this song is he always points out that he is realest when he is “fucked up” and on drugs. That’s the real me, he claims. 

So what you have here is a man who is clearly addicted to sex and drugs, and what may at first seem like a shout out to them ends up being a man on the verge of self destruction (something reflected PERFECTLY in the amazing video) who may be reaching out to his side chick to save his empty and vacuous life.

What is even more interesting is, he claims she will be his third fuck for the day, therefore his third choice out of many, but if that is the case and she is SUCH a jump-off to him….

Why Is Did He Write Her A Song Unless He Actually Loves Her

“You’re so vain you probably think this song is about you.” Well, it is because you keep saying ME specifically. If the song was called ‘Sam’s So Vain’, I probably wouldn’t think the song is about me. 

For those missing the reference, it is an old Carly Simon song, where she sings about a man who is so vain he thinks said song is about him, but the relentless irony is that IT WAS about him, as it says so right in the hook.

This brings us to the side point in the Hills that I think most miss out on. He has to adore the girl he is singing to (third pick my ass, you were lying so she wouldn’t know you were waiting around  for 5:30, dawg) or he wouldn’t be so up front about his flaws. He is telling her (whoever SHE is) that he does care, he is overcompensating with the song, acting like she aint shit, but would YOU write a sick, twisted, aurally pleasing song to your bronze pick?

I wouldn’t either.

C-Major AGAIN

Not sure if you are following this column or not, but if you are, yes, this is the third song in a row chosen for dissection by me that is based around C-major. This has happened enough now (unintentionally, by the way) that I am beginning to look into how often C-major turns up in number one songs across the years.

There is an undeniable earworm quality to C-major, but there may be even more to it than just that, more to come soon.

In Closing….

The Hills is a great song that makes you think it is about the glory of fucking without feelings, but once you realize he penned and composed a whole song to his third pick, you realize this is just a lovelorn man who, while pretending to be singing to a side chick, IS THE SIDE CHICK HIMSELF!

Boom, I just blew my own mind. That’s like a writer’s version of suicide.

Do You Hear What I Hear?: A Dissection Of "Heathens" By Twenty One Pilots

Twenty One Pilots are a very unique band, sound wise. People who hear Heathens and then go buy some of their music might be shocked to find out how very much UNLIKE Heathens it truly is. The best way to describe the band would be emo-electronic-anthemic music with Reggae and hip hop influences paired off with some straight-up depressing emo music at times. This is not to undermine the band, they may have one of the most versatile sounds out there right now, hands down, and that is to their credit when every band out there sounds like they release the same single, over and over, for half a decade with no one noticing.

But the truth is, Heathens is a deep track that resonates with many for some wickedly unique and interesting reasons. Let’s explore all aspects of the song a little more deeply, shall we?

The Clear-Cut Message of Heathens

Watch it. 

That is the message of Heathens, even used as a sort of filler sound in the bridge and breakdown of the song itself, Heathens is one heathen communicating to a non-heathen (a.k.a. a good person) about how they need to get away from him and all he knows, as this “outcast” will not fit in.

The heathens he knows will literally smell the goodness on you, and you will be torn asunder like sharks. Considering it was the soundtrack song to Suicide Squad, it is a song that fits the tone of the movie it is selling perfectly.

Actually, let’s be honest, the track ended up more enjoyable than the film itself, and that is really saying something.

Cool twist, too. Despite all the warnings, we stay as listeners, and by staying, he ends the song with the damning exclamation:

It looks like you might be one of us.

It is a cool, punch-to-the-gut moment in the song, and sends a very clear message that equates to you are only as good as the company you keep.

The Subliminal-Yet-Familiar Melody Behind Heathens

It’s funny the first column of Do You Hear What I Hear I wrote was based around a song that was composed in C Major, and here we are, yet again, with a song that is based in C. Whereas Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi is C-A-G, there is only a slight difference between songs here (and totally unintentional on my part which is strange. I must be drawn to C major for some reason). Heathens is a C-A-E. One chord difference between the two tracks, but if you listen to the songs side by side, you wouldn’t think them similar at all which is a testimony to the production and the bands and artists themselves.

They may all work on the same type of canvas, but the end result of  art is wonderfully different. But the song plays off the same basic “3 chord earworm” that most successful songs work off of. You don’t break something that works perfectly, and Heathens proves that by staying true to that 3:33 length formula and three chord skullduggery.

Truth is, this is built as a perfect “hip hop influenced” pop song in every way, and indubitably pulls it off.

The Post-Heathens Problem

The post Heathens problem is an interesting position for Twenty One Pilots, the band, to find themselves in. You would think the end result of making a great song would be joy, but that is rarely the case. When a band like Twenty One Pilots makes a song that is SO WIDELY WELL RECEIVED, they need to ask themselves something. Do we keep making the music we WERE making (which, if you hear it, lacks the Heathens sound) or do we make more songs that sound and feel like Heathens? Ominous, intimidating, and catchy as fuck? 

That is where the band is mentally right now. Because, many people picked up their music as a result of Heathens and as great as some of it is (Lane Boy, Ride) some of it just drags ass and can get a little, um, emotional (which is not bad but breaks the vibe of songs like Heathens up big time).

So we could very well be on the verge of a new Twenty One Pilots, or they could just keep doing their thing the way they do it and when they hit gold like this, great, and when they don’t, fuck it, because they have massive and committed fan base that would probably literally follow them off a cliff and how many bands can truly say that?  Watch the Car Radio video if you doubt the validity of that statement.

Where To Next (Musically) for Twenty One Pilots?

Well, that is what makes Heathens so badass and worthy of all this examination. Because more than a song, it opened major doors for this band, and where those doors go is anyone’s guess at this time. Not just the simple fact that it is a rock and hip hop influenced song that kicks ass, but the fact that it helped potentially make their audience a great deal larger. 

In the end, that exposed them to a gaggle of new fans who are now eagerly awaiting what this band will drop next and what it will sound like.

At this point, that’s anyone’s guess, and that is half of what makes music so fucking fantastic. It is Forrest Gump’s metaphorical box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, but you know you like chocolate so that is good enough.

So whatever it is Twenty One Pilots, watch it, because now we are ALL watching you!

No pressure, though, guys. You got this.

And he doesn’t even look that stressed about how far he just raised his own bar. That’s good.
 

Do You Hear What I Hear?: A Dissection of Kid Cudi’s "The Pursuit of Happiness"

Welcome to the very first “Do You Hear What I Hear?” A new column for Dopecausewesaid that will feature deep dissections of post-2000 music, from writing to production to some heavier and more subtle psychological aspects of the song itself, as well as how far reaching it has been since the song’s release.

For the first week, I thought a deep-dive into Kid Cudi’s anthem to debauchery and self satisfaction, The Pursuit of Happiness seemed like a great jumping-off point. There are just so many layers to this song, which may first appear catchy, if not somewhat shallow. In hindsight, the song has not only become an anthem for the singer but a sort of genesis for a path that proved to be very unhealthy for artist Scott Mescudi (a.k.a Kid Cudi, a.k.a Mr, Solo Dolo, a.k.a The Man on the Moon, a.k.a, Mr. Rager a.k.a you get the point).

Let’s dive deeper into the literal Pursuit of Happiness, shall we?

First Impressions: Earworm

First of all, can I just point out that Kid Cudi hand-picked the stellar production team for this song and why he hasn’t used this squad for a whole record I still don’t know, but the band MGMT provide the music with Ratatat also behind production. If you have not heard either of these two bands, go, find them, your life is missing some amazing music. 

That said, having a rock-based, neo-hippie band and one of the best electronic acts out there right now behind the song is what makes the melody and beat so damn catchy from the first listen.

It is just an easy-to-play C major to A minor to G major chord progression ,but the slick heaviness and crunchiness behind the beat just make it instantly enjoyable, earworm worthy music.

The lyrics just up that satisfaction, though they do hide something deeper (as most good music oft does).

An Ode to Self-Destruction: The Lyrics

This is the spot where the song both dips and shines. In some ways, an anthem to living a wild life is an anthem for a downfall (which is just what we see later with Cudi’s self-institutionalization), but dammit if the way he sells it isn’t appealing. 
Even that opening line:

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up and take a hit. Feelin lit, feeling right, 2 a.m summer night

It hits all the chords that bring the listener back to that exact time in their own lives. Granted, we may not have lived the Cudi life, but we lived, and that is what this song is a true testimony, too.

But in the same breath, you have lines like:

I don’t care, hand on the wheel, driving drunk I’m doing my thing.

One can understand talking up a lavish lifestyle, but when it becomes braggadocious about something that is a stupid life choice, it makes you cock your head a little. That shit kills people, bro. Don’t brag about it, because young, stupid, impressionable kids will now think that act is cool, and we all know that is some real bullshit. Lyrically, it is a very minor gripe on the overall song, though.

Thing is, Kid Cudi doesn’t spit that “slap a bitch” shit, so to even hear that is jarring, as you don’t hear many lines like it from the artist (which makes it more acceptable here due to its rarity).

That said, the chorus and  hook of this song are infectiously catchy. You hear it once and never forget it.

And let us not forget, he stayed VERY TRUE to this song, to the point where it ended up becoming the very thing that would almost kill him.

The Ironic Real-Life Follow-Up

So Pursuit of Happiness was early in Cudi’s career and ended up, outside of Day N’ Nite, being one of Cudi’s most famous tracks. The reasons behind this are simple: 

The song is fantastic and the production and composition essentially make it the perfect pop-hip hop fusion song.

And he got what he wanted, too. This life he sings about in this song is the life he would go on to live. But it caught up with him so take the song as not only an earworm but as a cautionary tale.

Here, word for word, the letter he released last year before having himself willingly institutionalized for a short period:

It's been difficult for me to find the words to what Im about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans. 

Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. 

I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this. 

I wont be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.

If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and ill be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.

Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. Im sorry.

I love you,
Scott Mescudi

Luckily and due to his own strength and perseverance, he is out now and has been doing a lot better. If you hear the Speeding’ Bullet to Heaven record you hear a man on the verge of suicide, where his recent follow-up, Passion, Pain and Demon Slayin’ feels more like Kid Cudi feel more at home and comfortable in himself and his life, which is the greatest follow-up you can possibly get to the anthem like this.

And in a way, that is the bittersweet wrap-up to this first Do You Hear What I Hear column. Pursuit of Happiness is a damn good song, timeless, well assembled, and well executed, with an ironic and bittersweet message underneath about being careful what you wish for, as you just might get it and it probably won’t be what you expect.

And in the end, sadly, it stands as an anthem to the idea that ALL HAPPINESS, no matter how heartedly pursued, is fleeting.

Damn, that got heavy. But hell, this column is gonna be the shit, warning you all now. I’m just getting started.