2017: A Messy Year In Review, Dopecausewesaid Edition

Yeah, it’s been an unforgettable roller-coaster of a year for us all. But with those shaky lows came unexpected highs, and we’re here to re-live them all for you. These were the defining moments of the past year - which affected you the most?

1. The infamous 2016 presidential election that gave us a Flaming Cheeto for president, and gave all of society a ton of anxiety.

2. Trump generally and the rapid snowballing effect of white, male ignorance that has erased decades of civil rights history - "Handmaid’s Tale" feels closer than we thought…

3. But along with that ignorance, a lot of peoples’ bullshit is being called out, and women are taking back the night. The most resounding part of that would be the #metoo movement, which spawned a plethora of Hollywood bigwigs politicians being held accountable for their extremely creepy, harassing actions.

4. Taylor Swift making a musical comeback, but using absolutely none of her celebrity clout was used to make a political stance, or rep any form of activism. Basic.

5. We saw the bromper, which was a disturbing re-imagining of a romper for men.

6. We also saw Kylie Jenner get pregnant before turning 20, with Travis Scott as her baby daddy. Can’t wait for their Rob & Chyna spin-off to come out.

7. On that note, the Rob & Chyna breakup was as intense as it was hilarious. A slow train-wreck that we had the privilege of watching on E! and in Rob’s social media meltdowns.

8. Gal Gadot being cast as Wonder Woman, and the polarizing reactions on either side. Some were happy a fierce Israeli ex-army babe was heading the movie, while others were not impressed by the powerful Wonder Woman being played by a twig.

9. That poor dude getting assaulted by airline staff, and every airline’s thirsty attempts to bolster their PR after said incident. 

10. The Oscars mixup when "LaLa Land" was called out for Best Movie, even the LaLa actors themselves were like…”really?”. Fortunately, they fixed the blunder relatively quickly, and "Moonlight" was given it’s well-deserved award. Kind of a metaphor for society this year, but we’re still waiting for "Moonlight" to come out on top.

11. That insane credit report hack on Equifax, amongst a bunch of other crazy hacks. But this one was pretty bad.

12. The game-changer “Get Out” which was a horror movie showing the micro-horrors that black people experience every day, in America. The film is pretty scary, but what’s scarier? Being a minority in this environment. 

13. "Handmaid’s Tale", duh. Basically “Get Out” for women in 2017. Here, the country gets taken over by martial law and this “religion” which places women back centuries, imprisoning them for the purpose of birthing, and other horrifying things for women's rights. Get your red dresses and white bonnets ready, girls!

14. The color Millennial pink, which everyone was rocking in their manicures, hair, and style statements. But which should also be aptly re-named to Pepto Bismol Pink, don’t you think?

15. "HUMBLE." by Kendrick, and every other song on that album. But this song specifically is a message we’d like to direct towards anyone who’s thinking about bringing their larger than life ego into 2018, mostly Donald Trump.

16. Less socially conscious, "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B…who wasn’t bumping this in their car for most of 2017? Even though her other tracks on the mixtape were underrated, "Bodak Yellow" had undeniable swag, and everyone was trying a cover.

17. The thousands of ridiculous but sort of dope flute/violin/instrumental covers that “Mask Off” spawned. But the track was fire, and if we knew flute or violin we would probably be jamming out to Future as well.

18. It was a year for the Carters - Beyoncé had twins (and released that strange but somehow beautiful flower crown photoshoot) and her husband released "4:44", a ferocious comeback for him after claiming retirement.